#15 – Be more polite to my husband than I am to my boss

9 Sep

How come we treat perfect strangers and our bosses wonderfully, but sometimes treat the most important person in the world like crap?

Now, I don’t particularly treat my husband like crap, but there are times when I get snippy and disrespectful, which doesn’t make any sense at all, since he’s the person I love and respect most in the world.

I read an article about being a good spouse in The Times (a UK paper), and a post on the blog From Dates to Diapers about making your husband a priority.

Both essentially spell out that though your kids and jobs are priorities, your spouse is THE priority. Of course the kids are important, but if you neglect your marriage and it fails, that does them no good! If you make your marriage the priority instead of the kids, it helps in lots of ways:

  1. You stay married.
  2. The kids don’t have to go through a divorce.
  3. The kids see a great example of how a healthy relationship functions.

Today, I’m going to work on just being nice. Being nicer and more respectful to my spouse than to people I barely know. I know this is more of an abstract little project, but tonight I’m going to put in a lot of effort and see where things end up.

And of course, all these things, these projects,  are cumulative. Sure, I’m writing about each thing once on this blog, but as I focus on them once, I’m trying to continue focusing on them. (See my latest assessment for more on this.)

(Curious what my Marriage Project is all about? Did you read yesterday’s post about sending my husband some goodies at work?)

8 Responses to “#15 – Be more polite to my husband than I am to my boss”

  1. John Wilder September 9, 2010 at 10:27 am #

    I got a lot of flack from women for suggesting that on some other blogs. By the way, respect is man’s number one need even ahead of sex. Most women seem to feel that it is their job to their husband’s critic in chief and feel superior to him. This damages their relationship with their husband. So kudos to you and I know that your husband will appreciate it.

    Blessings on you and yours
    John Wilder

    • wittywife September 9, 2010 at 10:52 am #

      Thanks John.

      I can’t imagine ever treating him that way intentionally, but I’m sure I have on occasion. I think it’s a good thing to focus on respect.

      It drives me nuts when I see the commercials on tv with the cute little wives that roll their eyes at their stupid husband who can’t get anything right. Don’t get me wrong, there ARE men out there like that. I’ve seen ‘em with my own eyes.

      But not all men are idiots, and everyone deserves to be treated with respect, especially by their spouse.

  2. aseriousattempt September 9, 2010 at 10:42 am #

    This is a great idea. I’m going to mirror your project and see if I can’t accomplish the same thing, today. Hopefully, my husband will notice the change in attitude. I may well report back with my success or failure!

    Good luck!

    • wittywife September 9, 2010 at 10:54 am #

      Good luck! I’ll tell you, all these little things are adding up, and he’s been so happy lately! He can’t put his finger on it, but he openly brought up how happy he is and said that he feels like we’re in a really good place lately. It’s nice to see him happy, and I hope it’s partly because of this.

      I really think ME being in a better mood has put HIM in a better mood as well!

  3. karyl33 September 9, 2010 at 1:09 pm #

    This is a great issue. I could be more respectful. I never set out to be disrespectful, but if you are not mindful of these things, they can get out of hand.

    As always, I love your pictures. Where do you find them?

    Also, thanks for the encouragement. I’m writing again!

    Have a blessed day.

    • wittywife September 9, 2010 at 1:26 pm #

      Thanks Karyl33. It’s hard, isn’t it? We become so comfortable around our spouses that sometimes we forget how to treat them.

      I find some of my pictures on a free stock-photo site, and sometimes just on Google.

      I’m glad you’re going to start posting again!

  4. Melbourne Mumma September 13, 2010 at 8:08 pm #

    This is a good point. I’m guilty of this – all politeness with the people who pay my income (and strangers, other mums) but come home and it can be a different story. Not good at all, not just for the kids’ sake but for the couple’s sake too of course. So yes I definitely need to be more conscious of this.

    • wittywife September 14, 2010 at 8:03 am #

      I know, isn’t it weird? It’s like we become SO comfortable with our spouse that we feel like we can treat them any way we want! I’ve been trying to be conscious about this. I’ve been known to snap at him on occasion (we all do that, right?), but lately I’ve been trying to take a deep breath, or if I DO snap at him, apologize immediately. I might be ‘right’ about whatever I snap at him about, but that doesn’t make it okay to treat him poorly.

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