Tag Archives: happy

Christmas, Mexico, Poopy Diapers…

20 Jan

Credit: Connect.in.com

…Just a few of the things that have kept me busy since my last post.

Hubby and I have been trying to figure out how to incorporate hm into the blog…a guest column? He said/she said? Guest posts?

We haven’t quite figured it out yet… between Christmas, New Years, a quick (work) trip to Mexico, and our baby who is finally just getting over a stomach bug, I’ve been just kind of waiting to see how things fall into place.

They haven’t yet, so I’ve decided to get back to writing (just me) until we can figure out how he wants to write!

A few thoughts on Mexico:

My husband’s company took their core employees and their spouses to Mexico over Martin Luther King weekend. We only had to do one company related dinner, and the rest of the time we were freeeee! We left the kids at home, and had an amazing weekend together (besides the terrifying flight home.)

Some pictures to share:

Tomorrow, back to my regular posts!

#37: Marriage is not a noun; it’s a verb. It isn’t something you get. It’s something you do.

8 Dec

At least, that’s what they say. And it’s what I’ve been trying to put into practice.

Patience is something I’m still working very hard on. I’m not afraid of confrontation, but I try to avoid it if it’s not really necessary.

But in order to not be confrontational over minor things (which could come across as ‘nagging wife’ or ‘complaining wife’) one must exercise some patience.

I’ve been getting better at it. Last night, my husband and I were talking, and it got to be late. My husband HATES talking about anything serious before bed. I, on the other hand, can not sleep if stuff is on my mind, and I feel most comfortable talking to him when we ARE in bed. Our guard is down, we’re comfortable, we’re not tense. It seems like a PERFECT place and time to talk.

But he doesn’t like to; maybe he feels vulnerable. Maybe he actually wants to sleep when he gets into bed. I don’t know or understand the reason why, but since me bringing up things before bed seemed to always turn things into a crazy fight, I’ve been trying to honor his request to not talk about anything serious before sleep.

So last night, as we started talking, he said he’d rather not, and really wanted to get some sleep.

And I obliged and shut my mouth. That was an exercise in patience. Not so much because I had something burning that I just HAD to discuss (the issue was minor), but because I’m not sure when I’ll get to have my say and I have to sit and wonder when he might want to talk. I have to be a mindreader. If I bring it up again, I’m a nagging wife.

Last night, he had his say (he disagreed with me), then said he would really like some sleep.

This takes me to something else completely. Sometimes I don’t even care what the issue is about. I just want to know that he takes my opinion/thoughts/whatever seriously, even if he disagrees. I want to know that he’s at least trying to understand what I’m saying. I don’t know that if he gets to say his peace and then decides the conversation is over.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not even mad. There’s no point. We’re going to be with each other for a long time, and if he hates talking before bed, nothing is going to magically make him like it. So it’s my turn to make the accommodation and try to be patient.

Sometimes I want to blow up and say, “Well when the heck do you expect us to talk? We work all day, come home, feed the kids, eat our dinner, do bedtime for the kids, do some chores, maybe watch an hour of tv, and then it’s our bedtime! Bedtime is the only time we have peace and quiet. When do you propose we talk???”

But I know that’s not a good direction to go, either. I think most times if I’m just patient and calm, things will work themselves out. Things will eventually get addressed.

So I’m going to work some more on being patient, not rushing to solutions, decisions, or blowing up and yelling.

But does this make a really understanding wife, or a pushover?

#35: Tips on not becoming a junkie.

23 Nov

Credit: fuffer on Flickr

An iPhone junkie, that is.

My husband and I both have iPhones (I’ve got a 3Gs, he’s got a 4.) I don’t think he ‘plays’ with his iPhone as much as I do; but in all fairness (to me and my bad habit), he just got his after switching from a very old Blackberry, and he doesn’t know how to download and use all the nifty apps yet.

Here’s what I use my iPhone for:

  • Checking my work email
  • Checking my personal email
  • Looking at my ‘friends’ feed in Facebook
  • Checking for Facebook notifications
  • Reading celebrity gossip
  • Playing Bubble Shooter (free edition)
  • Googling anything I don’t know
  • Checking my bank account
  • Checking my Amex account
  • changing the channel on the tv (thank you Verizon Fios app!)
  • Texting my family
  • Talking on the phone

What do you use your mobile phone for?

Now, I’ll be clear now. I’m not addicted to my phone. I’ve left it at home and not had a panic. I’ve forgotten my charger on vacation and not had a panic.

However, I’m on my phone way too much. It follows me around the house (as in, I bring it with me around the house.) I play too much Bubble Shooter. A lot of times, I just fiddle away on it while we’re watching television. My rationale is that, well, we’re watching television. It’s not like we’re interacting.

However, is my phone use contributing to any lack of interaction? I don’t know. But I’m not particularly wanting to find out. Especially since I read this article today online about how your happiness level actually seems to depend on your spouses happiness level (this was only true of married couples in the study.) It says that if you’re happy, you’re spouse is much more likely to be happy.

Well, how can my hubby know how happy (or unhappy) I am if I’m buried in my iPhone?

As a secondary point, my daughter is seven years old. I need to start NOW setting a good example about phone/digital device etiquette.

So here are some tips on good etiquette that I intend to follow:

I won’t text while driving. I typically don’t, but I’ll make an effort not to at all. I’m really not use to my family if I’m dead from a texting accident.

No phone during any meals. I never do this anyway. Mostly. The only exception is if I’m checking for texts from the babysitter.

I won’t play games/read celebrity gossip, etc for more than 10 minutes at a time. Hey, let’s face it. I’m going to do those things. My phone has practically replaced the computer for those sorts of things. But 10 minutes, max, especially if I’m hoping for some quality time with the husband. I don’t want him to feel ignored.

I won’t bring my phone into the bedroom at night. I’ll leave it to charge in the kitchen. This is a new rule for me. I bring it in a lot, and scan the news or check Facebook before bed. There’s no need for this. Bedtime is ‘cuddle’ time. Reconnect time. (You get the idea.)

What other tips can you recommend?

#33: “Being around you makes me want to briefly stop compulsively checking all forms of digital communication.”

17 Nov

Being around you makes me want to briefly stop compulsively checking all forms of digital communication. (Credit: someecards.com)

That’s what the e-card I just sent my husband says, anyway. Have you visited someecards.com? Warning: it’s not for the faint of heart, and while the pictures on the cards are fine, some of the text on the cards are NSFW.

I think the site is a riot, and I love the topical subject cards, such as:

 

"Congratulations to Kate Middleton on ruining the holiday season for every unmarried woman on the planet." (Credit: someecards.com)

One benefit to Facebook's new email system is that your privacy can now be violated all in one place. (Credit: someecards.com)

This sort of reminds me of project #1 where I sent my husband a thank-you card in the mail. I haven’t run out of ideas, but I figure:

  1. Many of you haven’t been reading this blog from the very beginning
  2. Each of the projects can be done many different ways and should be done again!

Some other things:

 

#31: The obligatory pre-Thanksgiving post: What are you thankful for?

9 Nov

Credit - IKEA.com

What’s a good way to keep track of all the things we’re thankful for as Thanksgiving draws closer? I don’t know, but my friend Mrs. C. emailed me with a great idea.

She passed on a fantastic project from one of our favorite blogs, Young House Love. In today’s blog post, John describes how he and his wife, Sherry, created their own jar for writing about what they’re thankful for. Each day, they’ll write something on a piece of paper that they’re Thankful for, and on Thanksgiving, they’ll read them.

No peeking until Thanksgiving!

I’m going to adapt this project for my family, as well. This weekend on a trip to IKEA, I bought several glass jars, one of which is still empty and will do the trick (see picture above.)

I will not be etching the glass as John and Sherry did, as I’m not that creative, and I’d probably etch right through our counters. Better to not ruin my apartment.

I think my husband will play along, as he’s all about building family traditions as of lately. This could be a good one.

Here’s YHL’s finished jar:

 

Credit: YoungHouseLove.com

So now I have to get thinking… what am I thankful for? There’s lots that I’m thankful for; that we both have jobs, that we’re all healthy, etc, but I’d like to find more specific examples of smaller things I’m thankful for as well.

What are you thankful for?

Updates: I had every intention of doing this, but life sort of got in the way. There’s always next year.

#30: “Do you have a Bandaid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you.”

8 Nov

A cheesy pickup line? Not REALLY my thing, but when you’re trying to be as clever as I am on a daily basis, you think outside of the box.

So last week when I was in Florida and saw a ‘Pick-Up Lines’ Magetic Poetry Kit at a magnet shop (yep; a shop that just had magnets), I decided to buy it and have a little fun with it.

I can’t even remember what I put together for my first little quote on the fridge; it was something slightly naughty but mostly funny. He laughed and got a kick out of it.

Yesterday, I was opening the fridge and saw:

I love you all my life

Love it! My husband decided to play along! Ironically, I tried to be a little ‘naughty’ to appeal to the man in him (thinking that’s how he’d go about this little game), and interestingly enough he responded back with a mushy phrase.

This is going to be fun!

#29: What should we do everyday with our spouse but sometimes don’t?

5 Nov

Kiss. That’s right. KISS.

My husband and I are definitely in love, and definitely happy. But it dawned on me recently that sometimes a day will go by where we haven’t kissed at all. AT ALL!!

How can that be? He often jumps right out of bed to go to the gym in our building. When he gets back, I’m getting the kiddo ready for daycare, so he showers. Then all of a sudden it’s time for him to head out the door and it’s ends up as sort of a rushed, “Have a nice day!”

Same at night; he starts dinner, I feed the baby, we play with the baby, we watch a little tv or do some talking, and then we pass out cold.

Do you have any little routines or traditions you love in your marriage? We have one I love; it’s called ‘Family Time’, and as soon as we’re all home, we all pile up onto the bed and just chill for a few minutes. It helps as parents unwind for five minutes after a long day before jumping into dinner, baths, and whatever else we need to get done. We get to tickle and cuddle and play with the little one, and my daughter (if she is with us and not at her dad’s house) will tell us all about her day. It’s a great time.

So in the spirit of happy traditions, the other night while my husband and I were talking, I asked him if we could start a new tradition. It went something like this:

Me: So, I was thinking….

Husband: Uh oh….

Me: No no, this is good! I’m not about to tell you that you did something wrong.

Husband: Okay…

Me: I was thinking we could start a new tradition. Let’s make sure we kiss at least once in the morning, and at least once at night. And I mean a NICE kiss. Not just a quick unthoughtful kiss.

Husband: Yeah, but we do that already.

Me: Do we?

Husband: Hmm.. Maybe you’re right…..

So with that, our new kissing routine was born. And I’ll tell you, it’s great! We spent some nice time last night kissing like teenagers before bed! And this morning, as he was leaving for work, we hugged, and then he remembered and gave me a big kiss.

This sounds silly and simplistic, but think about the implications if you DON’T kiss for long stretches. I think it makes it that much harder to be intimate in general, and especially if you’re stressed, have had an argument, or something of the like. I think NOT kissing allows the distance between a couple to grow, which is never a good thing.

Be honest; how often do you kiss your spouse/partner?

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