#1: Send husband thank-you note in the mail

Project:

I’m a bit frustrated with a recent disagreement my husband and I had, but it’s pointless to rehash with him as it is resolved.  He has agreed to do things ‘my way’, even though he disagrees in principle.  I’m happy he’s handling the situation ‘my way’, and appreciative that he made a compromise, but I still feel a bit resentful that he doesn’t ‘get it’. 

So today, I’m controlling what I can control. Today I’m sending my husband a thank you note in the mail. Sure, I’m frustrated with him, but he did compromise with me. Disagreeing isn’t the end of the world.

I’m not thanking him for taking my position in the argument, I’m thanking him for all of the ‘other’ stuff he does well, which is often overlooked when we’re focusing on the bad stuff. I sent him a note thanking him for being a good dad.  I thanked him for working his tail off at his new job to help provide for us.

Is this self serving? Partly, yes. But it’s self serving in a good way; it’s helping me let go of the anger I was feeling by focusing on something good. And I hope he’ll be surprised to receive a card at work and know that I love him even when we disagree.

Update #1 – * Still working on finding a stamp to mail said letter.

Update #2 –

08/24/2010

Email from husband:

“I just got a letter from a very beautiful woman delivered to me here at the office. Thank you, baby. That was VERY sweet.”

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The Marriage Project

This is Witty Wife’s Marriage Project.

Everyone knows the keys to successful marriages. We all do.  But still there’s lots of failure.

My initial thoughts:

• Marriage is hard work. It doesn’t just ‘happen.’
• Marriages today are considered disposable. I can see how they’re just not necessary for some people. Don’t get married, then, if this is you.
• There’s no such thing as ‘the one.’ We all know falling in love is easy.  Getting married is choosing to continue to love a person.
• The grass is always greener, and will it always WILL be if you think there’s “the one.” Again, it’s easy to fall in love, and if you’re having issues with your spouse, you’ll question yourself into thinking the new person might REALLY be “the one.” Don’t question it. You’re married, you’ve made your decision.

And so I’m married, I made my decision. It’s my project. I can’t control what anyone else does, only me. This blog will keep you up to date with what I’m doing.