I’m 5 projects and one week in to my new Marriage Project. It seems silly to need to write down nice things I want to do for my partner, myself, our marriage.
Shouldn’t I just know better? And if my husband is in a cranky mood, why should I make the effort? And if my husband has some fault, or is wrong, what should I make the effort?
Well, as I explained in my first post, my own efforts are the only thing I can really control.
Let’s recap the past week’s projects:
- Project #1: Send husband thank-you note in the mail
- Project #2: Don’t say anything negative today
- Project #3: Do something unexpected
- Project #4: Dress up
- Project #5: Pick up his dry cleaning
Each project has had its own minor successes. He loved my thank-you card, he loved when I wrote the little note in the bathroom mirror, love when I dressed up for his colleagues, and was pleased to have 30 extra minutes in his day by me picking up the dry cleaning. (Use the links above to see the full write up and result of each project.)
But is that it? Did I help my marriage? Does all of this help?
It does help; it is helping. My husband has been in a great mood during the past week. We were at the grocery store a few nights ago, and he kissed me right in the middle of the grocery store while we were shopping. This morning, he told me he wanted to have another baby.
My husband was not in a particularly foul mood prior to this, mind you, but I think we’re like many married couples who have the daily routine with little time to connect. Is it possible that what I’ve been doing has been helping us connect more?
I don’t do these things because I want something in return; I do it because I care about our marriage, and because I want to make him happy. I want my husband to kiss me in the grocery store “just because.”
He doesn’t know about my ‘project’, but is it possible he’s in a great mood and feels close to me because of what I’ve been doing here?