Archive | 12:35 pm

Situation #1: How to behave when your husband is cranky

31 Aug

Last night, my husband came home from work and was quite a bit cranky. Not that I blame him at all; his key to our apartment door wasn’t working. He was knocking away on the door while I was changing in our bedroom, oblivious to his knocking.

Once he came in, he was VERY cranky. We live in a ‘luxury’ building where things tend to break or not work all the time. Management cares more about getting new tenants than servicing the existing ones.

The old way I might have handled this:

Well, people being cranky tend to make me cranky back at that person, even if they’re not cranky at me.

The way I did handle it:

I gave him a hug and a kiss when he came in, and made a conscious effort to be as ‘normal’ as possible. I fed our little guy dinner and took care of that.


My husband apologized for being cranky! I can guarantee you if I had become cranky as well, there’s no way he would have apologized. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t looking for an apology – I was looking to help smooth over the situation. I think I did!

So what is this “Situation” thing as opposed to “Project?” Well, projects are things that I’m posting about that I’m consciously looking to do or change. Projects are things I’m going to do in the future. ‘Situations’ on the other hand, are issues that have arisen in the past day or so since my last blog post that I’ve ‘handled.’ Do you see the distinction?

(By the way, curious what my Marriage Project is all about?)


Marriage Project – Assessment #2

31 Aug

I’m 11 ‘little projects’ in to the big Marriage Project, and, well, I’m stunned. I can’t believe how much happier our marriage has been just since I started this. We weren’t even unhappy to begin with, which, if you think about it, is probably a good time to start focusing on marriage. Waiting until the you-know-what hits the fan might not be a wise move.

I haven’t tried to change my husband at all, only focusing on what I can focus on.

Let’s recap:

As I mentioned in my first-ever post, these are not things that will save your marriage. And one-time actions are nice, but they might not be that noticeable.

A few things:

  1. The little things add up.  I’m not sure my husband noticed any of these little things I’ve done on an individual level, except perhaps maybe dressing up nice when I don’t usually. However, he has noticed in general that I’ve been doing something. He’s mentioned a few times how great things have been going lately, and I don’t think it’s a coincidence.
  2. These things are cumulative. Sure, I’m writing about each thing once on this blog, but as I focus on them once, I’m trying to continue focusing on them (putting the phone back on the charger so I don’t annoy my husband and give him an aneurysm; taking out the trash or doing the dishes, chores I hate but that will lighten his load, etc.)

What are your thoughts? Any suggestions for me?

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