Archive | October, 2010

Reason #5 – Would your husband encourage you to go away for a weekend with your sisters?

28 Oct

Mine did. At first it felt like a trick. Like, “Why does he want me to go away? Is he up to no good? is he sick of me?” You know, all the general paranoia stuff.

My older sister is a world traveler. She’s traveled a lot for work, and she’s also traveled because she’s a professional athlete. China, Australia, Netherlands, South Africa, England, Guatemala; you name it, she’s been there. Now, she’s been hounding me for a bit to go on a weekend trip with her. I haven’t been on a weekend trip with her since early 2004 when we drove from New England to Virginia Beach for a WEEKEND (for a conference she was going to.) That’s it!

I do see her quite often, however. As you may have noticed from some of my posts, I live in Washington, DC. My sister, by air, lives only an hour away, so she flies down to (or through) DC quite often.

Finally my husband said to me a few months ago, “Why haven’t you planned this weekend trip with your sister yet??”

Really?? I’ve WANTED to go, but as a mom who loves her family, I’ve felt pretty guilty about planning a trip to California, or Vegas, or Colorado, or WHEREVER for the weekend so I can hang out with my sister and have fun!! I felt guilty abandoning the kids and my husband.

But most of all, I feel guilty going out and having fun without him! He works just as hard as I do!

He told me to worry not, and plan the darn trip. Isn’t my husband amazing??

Well, it’s planned. Tomorrow afternoon I will be flying to Florida with my sister (who was awesome enough to fly here first to meet me, and then head down with me!) And guess what, my other sister already happens to be down in Florida on vacation with her boyfriend, so I’ll get to see her too. And if you can believe that, can you believe that my father and grandfather will be in Florida, too? They drove all the way from New England to pick up a car (my grandfather is an antique car buff), so I’ll get to see them, too! What a weekend!

But, “Florida?? Kind of boring, no?” I’m sure you’re asking.

Yes, I think Florida can be kind of boring, except when your sister was able to win a lottery and purchase tickets for the second to last ever space shuttle launch!!!

That’s right, on Monday, we’ll be seeing STS-133, the space shuttle Discovery make its last flight. How exciting! I got to see STS-49, the maiden voyage of Endeavor, when I was younger, but I think I’ll appreciate this a whole lot more since I’m older.

So a whole weekend in the Orlando area with my sister, before the launch.. what to do, what to do…

Update:

  • The launch was scrubbed
  • I ate dinner at the House of Blues at Downtown Disney
  • My sister and I drank lots of Bailey’s on the rocks on our flight down
  • Did you know they call Panama City, Florida (a stop on our flight) the Redneck Riviera?
  • My 15 minute stop in Panama City, Florida, was the first time in my LIFE that I’ve been in the central time zone. I’ve been to Eastern, Atlantic, and Greenwich, but never anywhere west of eastern time.
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Guest Post: When was the last time you had some mid-day fun?

26 Oct

Image by © Royalty-Free/Corbis

When was the last time you had some mid-day fun (of the email variety) with your partner? Mrs. C, a frequent reader, emailed me with a recent email exchange during the day between her and her husband. Hilarious! Do you and your significant other ever do fun stuff like this to break up the monotony?

 

 

 

From: Mr. C
Sent: Friday, October 22, 2010 12:59pm PM
To: Mrs. C.
Subject: Re: are you having dinner with your friends tonight?

What’s the dilly?


From: Mrs. C
Sent: Friday, October 22, 2010 2:36 PM
To: Mr. C
Subject: Re: are you having dinner with your friends tonight? 

She’s going to pick me up around 7 i think.  No dinner plans.


From: Mr. C
Sent: Friday, October 22, 2010 2:37pm PM
To: Mrs. C.
Subject: Re: are you having dinner with your friends tonight? 

Look, I need better response time than this. I am an important guy. I have things to do. I can’t wait around all day surfing the internet and watching the clock while my wife takes her sweet time getting back to me.


From: Mrs. C
Sent: Friday, October 22, 2010 2:38 PM
To: Mr. C
Subject: Re: are you having dinner with your friends tonight? 

Haha effff.  I just hoofed it up 7 flights of stairs after our all hands meeting.  Which is where I was since 12, creepy stalker guy.


From: Mr. C
Sent: Friday, October 22, 2010 2:39pm PM
To: Mrs. C.
Subject: Re: are you having dinner with your friends tonight? 

I demand better wife customer service.


From: Mrs. C
Sent: Friday, October 22, 2010 2:42 PM
To: Mr. C
Subject: Re: are you having dinner with your friends tonight?

Please hold.

Doodootdoodadoodoodaah!…

Thanks for holding! Your wife is kind of a big deal, and will be with you as soon as possible.  Your opinion as husband is valued, and wifey thanks you for your patience!

Doodootdoodadoodoodaah!….

 


From: Mr. C
Sent: Friday, October 22, 2010 2:43pm PM
To: Mrs. C.
Subject: Re: are you having dinner with your friends tonight? 

If you’d like to participate in a wife satisfaction survey at the end of this call, please press 1 now. *presses*


From: Mrs. C
Sent: Friday, October 22, 2010 2:45 PM
To: Mr. C
Subject: Re: are you having dinner with your friends tonight? 

Press 1 for: “Dang my wife is hawt”

Press 2 for: “Dang, my wife is hawt…and SMART!”

Press 3 for: “All of the above!”


From: Mr. C
Sent: Friday, October 22, 2010 2:46pm PM
To: Mrs. C.
Subject: Re: are you having dinner with your friends tonight? 

Press 4 for: “You’re the man. Why is your wife sass-mouthing you anyway? Take care of it.” *presses*


From: Mrs. C
Sent: Friday, October 22, 2010 2:46 PM
To: Mr. C
Subject: Re: are you having dinner with your friends tonight? 

Press 5 for: Take your peach pie and shove it! [Lifetime movie reference]

#27: Have you ever actually sat down and made a list of reasons why you love your spouse?

25 Oct

Courtesy Google Images

I haven’t either. But I’m going to make a list about why I love him and what I love about him. Tomorrow morning when he goes down to the gym, I’m going to tape the list to the bathroom mirror so he sees it when he comes back after the gym. Pretty darn simple.

Here’s the first five on my list (I’ll post the entire list later.)

  1. I love you because you make me want to be a better person.
  2. I love you because of your infinite patience with the kids (and me).
  3. I love how serious you look when you’re reading a book.
  4. I love how handsome you are in a suit or in jeans and a sweatshirt.
  5. I love you because you’re forgiving, even when you don’t have to be.

What would be the first five on your list?

Update: I started my list, folded it up, and it’s currently in my bag. I need to finish this and get it to him!

Situation #7: You know how you have to argue something to the very end on principle alone?

22 Oct

Yeah, well, you don’t.

Don’t argue it and bring it up to death, even on principle alone, (unless it’s something you feel SO strongly about that you will divorce them unless they somehow see your reasoning and agree with you.)

Pick your battles.

I picked the wrong one last night (again) and kind of feel like an ass idiot.

You live and you learn.

And I’m trying to learn to bite my tongue when it’s not a big deal, or even if it is a big deal but not worth getting into a huge fight over.

Marriage Project Assessment #4 – Bake, Cook, Ego-Boost and Clean your way to a Happier Marriage

21 Oct

At least, that’s what I’ve been doing to work towards a better marriage. Not that there’s much wrong with it to begin with, but it seems to me that it’s easier to tend to your marriage when it’s not in trouble.

Well, all this cooking, cleaning, and loving up my husband seems to be making a HUGE difference (either that, or he’s found and reading my blog!) I started this blog to work on things I can control in my marriage (as opposed to using this as a place to vent about marriage and my husband). I can’t control my husband. I can only control me.

As I’ve mentioned several times before, the intent here is to better MYSELF in my marriage, but then unintended consequence here is that my husband has been just amazing. He’s been communicating a lot more than he EVER has. I mean, he talks a lot (we love to talk about anything and everything), but as far as communicating about feelings, emotions, or dealing with issues, that’s always been a little struggle for us.

So yesterday, when he IMed me about some errands we needed to get done, I was feeling particularly lovey, and I told him out of the blue, “You know, you’re a GREAT husband and father.” And he wrote back, “You know what, THANK YOU, that means so much to me.” Who knew?? I thought I’d get a standard “Thanks.”

Last night, I got home before he did and got to work reviewing my cleaning planner. I did some dishes, got dinner started, got coffee ready for the morning, and finished folding the laundry. I had quite a bit done before he even got home. We watched the rest of the Yankees game together (Yeah!!! They Won !!!!!!.) Then we went to bed super-early to watch the Giants against the Phillies. At 9pm. We just kind of cuddled, and it was incredible. Then out of nowhere, he tells me how happy he is in general, how glad he is that I’m his wife, and how glad he is that I’m the mother of his child. He also went on to tell me that he’s made an effort to try very hard lately – my hangups are staying clean and orderly and keeping my head on straight, his is that he tends to get a little angry and let things bother him. He told me that he’s trying hard to not place blame every time something small goes wrong, and he apologized for sometimes placing that extra blame on me when it’s not warranted.

Wow!

Am I making a difference here?

Furthermore, our marriage IS good already. Do you think for people who are having marriage troubles could follow the same steps that I do and receive the same outcome, even if they think their spouse is at fault? If they work on the ‘small things’ like I am, could their spouses outlook improve as well as an unintended consequence?

 


Some useful links:

 

Archive of my marriage projects

My marriage project assessments so far

What is this marriage project all about?

And of course, follow me on Facebook by clicking the picture below!

#26: Will work for guacamole

20 Oct

Those of you who are new or don’t happen to visit very often must be thinking, “This is boring. Fold the laundry, send him a card, draw him a picture, let him pick the Netflix this time…Where’s the excitement? Where’s the one key to making marriage awesome?”

Well, for starters, last night I started folding a huge pile of laundry, which I absolutely hate doing, and do you know what? My dear husband made me a huge bowl of guacamole (my fav!) not as a reward for doing laundry, but because he knows how much I hate doing it, saw me doing it, and wanted to do a little something nice for me! Now tell me that didn’t help our marriage on a small scale?!?

I didn’t, however, finish folding, because we got a bit busy watching the Yankees game last night. I have to finish that darn laundry tonight! I don’t want to hear, “You didn’t finish it? But I made you guacamole!!” (That would be him jesting, of course.)


Some helpful links if you’re new here:

 

What is this Marriage Project all about?

Archive of my more recent posts

My self assessments on how this blog is working out so far (Assessment #3 spells out why I chose to make this a little details blog as opposed to a big picture marriage blog.)

And of course, don’t forget to join me on Facebook by clicking the picture below!


#25: Bust out my OCD cleaning planner (and wedding weekend follow-up)

19 Oct

As some of you may have read a few days ago, I have a cleaning planner now. Yup. A weekly planner, dedicated to cleaning and my chores.

Why?

  1. I’m a little OCD (or maybe a lot)
  2. I won’t remember to change the cat box, brush my teeth, do laundry, etc, if I don’t.

The reason I forget these things is not because I’m lazy; it’s because my brain is too busy and has too much going on.

Well, after our fabulous trip to our friends’ wedding this past weekend, I’ve gotten out of the habit of busting out my planner to do my chores (aka, the normal duties of wife and mother.) And then in the day and a half since we’ve been back, my excuse is that we’ve been EXHAUSTED. So it’s back to the chores planner tonight!

How does this benefit my husband, you ask?

“I wish you picking up after yourself and helping me clean the house a bit more was a perk of your OCD.” – Real quote from my husband.

Wedding Weekend

Some of you may be wondering about our weekend at our friend’s wedding and how it went. It went AMAZINGLY! Thank you everyone for all of your help!

We had friends babysit, and we flew up north and had two whole nights to ourselves!

And we caught up on our sleep. NOT!

Friday night, after several drinks to ease the stress of flying on an airline I don’t know on a route I don’t know (OCD, I tell ya!), we arrived at a lodge that the wedding family had rented, where we’d all be staying. It all started with some wine and catching up, and more wine, and many lobsters, and more wine, and more catching up…and even though we went to bed at 11pm, didn’t end until 3am when the loud music and drunken festivities ended.

“Those youngins’!!” is probably what you’re thinking, right? Except it wasn’t, it was all the ‘young folk’ in their 20’s and 30’s as well as several sets of parents, grandparents, and other ‘older’ relatives. Whew!

So naturally, even though we didn’t fall asleep until 3am, we were up by 7:00 since we’re on parental time, and also since the wedding rehearsal was at 7:30am. (Who had time to do it the day before??)

After that, we spent the day relaxing a bit, and, umm, ‘spending time’ together, and then were back for the wedding which started at 4:30 at the lake outside the lodge. We laughed with friends, drank some wine, chatted with friends, danced, drank, danced, drank, and then somehow it ended up being 1am. And since the guys had decided to smoke some cigars toward the end of the night, I had a very sick husband on my hands. We got to bed at about 3am, and were up at 7am to pack and head for the airport.

In the end, it was a great success of a weekend. My husband and I got to spend some much needed alone time with each other, we got to reconnect with some great friends….but the sleep? We’ll have to catch up on that another time.


PS – Join me on Facebook! Click the image below!

 


(Curious what my Marriage Project is all about?)

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