Situation #4: What to do with yourself when your husband goes away on business

6 Oct

So what if my husband’s going away for a few days, you might be thinking. I know some of you deal with this all the time. Maybe your husband is in the military, or travels a lot for work, etc.

But, well, my husband and I are kind of close. And I kind of like it! We don’t spend every waking minute together, naturally, but we have a routine (did I mention I love routines?), and I love our routine. It’s predictable, we spend most evenings together, and time with friends is usually planned a bit in advance.

Part of this is due to the one car city living sort of thing, and part of it is because I think we like to spend the time together since we work so much.

Earlier this year, my husband and I both landed new jobs, and while looking, we both decided that traveling was out, unless the traveling was just for a day trip.

So when he mentioned he had a conference he needed to go to (in a sunny, warm, southern locale, mind you), I was a little disappointed, and just a tad freaked out.

How am I going to take care of a 10 month old alone for almost three days???? What is he going to do in the evenings? Have fun without me? Is he going to miss me?

Then I realized how stupid that all was.

  1. Of course I can take care of a 10 month old. He’s my son! Heck, I flew with him alone to see my family for a few days a few months ago. Won’t this be infinitely easier than flying with him?
  2. Who cares what he does in the evenings after his conference. I imagined him going to a restaurant bar watching baseball and doing all sorts of fun grownupy type things that we don’t get to do much together anymore with a ten month old. You know, like watch baseball and have a drink. Instead, he brought his laptop to do his homework assignments for some courses he’s taking and asked me if I could find time in the evenings to Skype with him so he can see me and the little guy.

Okay, he’s awesome, and of course I know I have nothing to worry about, but I’m going to miss him!

Now I just need to figure out MY routine. I’m used to taking the subway home and starting dinner and meeting them. I have the car today (it felt VERY weird driving. I haven’t done it in weeks!!) I need to get he kiddo after work, feed him, feed me, give him a bath, oh, and manage to sleep a little. The little guy has decided to start getting up during the night again.

Do any of you have husbands who travel? How do you deal with it? Or is it just sort of routine? I feel out of sorts!

I’m thinking about trying to get the little guy a babysitter Friday night so I can go meet the husband at the airport! That would be so great!

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7 Responses to “Situation #4: What to do with yourself when your husband goes away on business”

  1. The Simple Life of a Country Man's Wife October 6, 2010 at 10:46 am #

    I understand what you mean when you’re husband is away. My husband is gone a lot on hunting trips (for a few days at a time), and although I miss him while he is away, it rekindles our appreciation for one another as well.

    You’re doing a great thing by focusing on honoring your husband and marriage. It’s quite rare in these times!

    • wittywife October 6, 2010 at 11:16 am #

      Thanks so much! I’m REALLY trying. And I definitely have a lot of work to do!

      Sometimes I feel so old fashioned trying to ‘appreciate’ my husband so much and do little things for him. I used to read about this kind of thing and think – “Wow, these women are desperate; don’t they have their own lives? Are their husbands the ‘man of the house’ and control everything?”

      I was pretty wrong with that attitude. My husband’s not a big bad control freak, and we have a lot of respect for each other. I think placing some emphasis on trying to support and honor him has really been a good thing.

  2. Rivki @ Life in the Married Lane October 7, 2010 at 1:05 pm #

    I can totally relate! My husband doesn’t travel for work, but he does have to work overnight relatively frequently. When he’s gone, I don’t handle it well at all. I don’t make myself a good dinner, I stay up way too late, and I miss him a lot. He’s like my anchor. I fully agree with what Country Man’s Wife says about his absence making you appreciate him more. Definitely!

    Also, I think old-fashioned can be a good thing. I mean, look at the state of most relationships these days. Not stellar. I think really appreciating our husbands and trying our best to make our marriages great is an extremely worthy goal. Good work!

    • wittywife October 8, 2010 at 9:30 am #

      Thanks so much for your kind words. He’s still away (coming back tonight), and I really feel all discombobulated without him!

  3. thelifeofjamie October 8, 2010 at 10:37 am #

    My husband is a firefighter (and sports enthusiast) so he is gone all the time. I actually enjoy it because I can let the dishes pile up in the sink, not pick up the kids toys every 5 seconds and relax on the couch after they have gone to bed instead of cleaning up after the little rugrats. It’s my me time. When he is home- it’s our time (or more accurately- his time) and much less relaxing, although I appreciate when he is home more than at work!

    • wittywife October 8, 2010 at 10:52 am #

      Well when you put it that way…that sounds sort of nice! I agree about the dishes – I did let them pile up while he was gone. I DID start the dishwasher last night though, since he’ll be back tonight.

      Do you work outside of the home? I guess I’m struggling while he is gone; I tried to work from home yesterday, took our son to the doctor’s, tried to learn how to use his nebulizer, tried keep the house a bit tidy… Oh, and tried to get some sleep while our poor kiddo was hacking up all night long (for two nights) it was crazy… I think if I took ‘work’ out of the equation, it would have been less stressful.

      How many kids do you have?

      • thelifeofjamie October 8, 2010 at 8:45 pm #

        I work from home- in a job where I am required to be on the phone a lot with parents (I am a virtual teacher), while my 1 and 2 year old scream in the background. There are somedays when I don’t shower (like today) and there are somedays I cry in my cereal because I am beat- but I am used to it. He was a firefighter before I married him…the kid factor certainly makes things much more difficult!

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