#28: Dinner, work, kids sports, abortion?

4 Nov

Does your husband talk a lot? Mine does. We talk about a lot of things, but naturally, what’s going on at work or our kids are frequent topics.

It’s no secret; the older my husband and I get, the more conservative we’re becoming. I don’t necessarily mean Republican conservative (though it’s no secret I don’t consider myself a true Democrat anymore), but I mean in a fiscal sense, and in a morals and values sense.

Last night I saw an ad on tv for Victoria’s Secret. Ten years ago, I probably wouldn’t have given it a second thought. Last night, the ad I saw at 7:30pm practically bordered on soft porn. See for yourself:

I have an almost 7 year old daughter. How do I explain to her that when she’s an adult, dressing up sexy for your husband is a good thing, but flaunting your sexuality like these women on tv is a bad thing? How do you explain this when your 6 year old doesn’t even know about these sorts of things, but it’s thrown in their face and they ask about it? Thankfully she didn’t see this commercial, so I don’t have to address it this moment.

However, this leads me to the fact that I’m becoming getting more conservative, and so is my husband.

A few nights ago, before the Victoria’s Secret commercial, he actually brought up abortion. Abortion! We were sitting on the couch reading (since baseball is over, and all), and he told me he had been thinking about it and the arguments for allowing it, and the arguments against it. We discussed it probably for a good 40 minutes or so. I won’t even get into how the discussion went (it’s not that relevant), but what is relevant is that he felt comfortable bringing up something like that with me.

Was I a good listener? Eh. Sort of, sort of not. Essentially, his views on the topic were changing, and it caught me off guard. But the point is, my husband doesn’t just talk about work, kids, and sports. And when he feels comfortable talking about tough topics with me, it’s my job to be a good listener, even if I disagree. I think trying to be a good listener will keep him feeling comfortable bringing up interesting or tough topics.


4 Responses to “#28: Dinner, work, kids sports, abortion?”

  1. In like Flynn November 4, 2010 at 1:10 pm #

    I like this post. Its an awesome feeling when your husband can actually “talk” to you not “tell” you whats going on. The other day my husband baffled me and said “I’m getting better at expressing my feelings” and I just stared at him. In all 12 years of our togetherness I have never heard him say “expressing my feelings” . . . Im liking the man my husband is becoming with age 🙂

  2. Dalai Lina November 4, 2010 at 2:31 pm #

    I feel like I walk a thin line with my daughter – how to shelter her from unnecessary sexuality and how to honor and celebrate her natural, God-given sexuality! So hard…

  3. Karyl November 5, 2010 at 8:51 am #

    I think I saw that same ad and said to my husband “This is pornography!” It certainly would have been labeled such in the 50s. I even said to him that it was during prime time and children could be watching. I’m glad I’m not alone in noticing and objecting. Makes me feel like I’m not crazy.

    • wittywife November 5, 2010 at 9:18 am #

      I know Karyl. Believe me, I’m not an excessive prude by any stretch, but those models were seriously acting like strippers. Even my husband was surprised that a commercial like that was fit for prime time TV. There’s nothing wrong with the body, and I’m not even opposed showing underwear and such (Fruit of the Loom commercials, anyone?) But this commercial was hyper-sexualized. Not okay for 7:30pm!

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