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#31: The obligatory pre-Thanksgiving post: What are you thankful for?

9 Nov

Credit - IKEA.com

What’s a good way to keep track of all the things we’re thankful for as Thanksgiving draws closer? I don’t know, but my friend Mrs. C. emailed me with a great idea.

She passed on a fantastic project from one of our favorite blogs, Young House Love. In today’s blog post, John describes how he and his wife, Sherry, created their own jar for writing about what they’re thankful for. Each day, they’ll write something on a piece of paper that they’re Thankful for, and on Thanksgiving, they’ll read them.

No peeking until Thanksgiving!

I’m going to adapt this project for my family, as well. This weekend on a trip to IKEA, I bought several glass jars, one of which is still empty and will do the trick (see picture above.)

I will not be etching the glass as John and Sherry did, as I’m not that creative, and I’d probably etch right through our counters. Better to not ruin my apartment.

I think my husband will play along, as he’s all about building family traditions as of lately. This could be a good one.

Here’s YHL’s finished jar:

 

Credit: YoungHouseLove.com

So now I have to get thinking… what am I thankful for? There’s lots that I’m thankful for; that we both have jobs, that we’re all healthy, etc, but I’d like to find more specific examples of smaller things I’m thankful for as well.

What are you thankful for?

Updates: I had every intention of doing this, but life sort of got in the way. There’s always next year.

#29: What should we do everyday with our spouse but sometimes don’t?

5 Nov

Kiss. That’s right. KISS.

My husband and I are definitely in love, and definitely happy. But it dawned on me recently that sometimes a day will go by where we haven’t kissed at all. AT ALL!!

How can that be? He often jumps right out of bed to go to the gym in our building. When he gets back, I’m getting the kiddo ready for daycare, so he showers. Then all of a sudden it’s time for him to head out the door and it’s ends up as sort of a rushed, “Have a nice day!”

Same at night; he starts dinner, I feed the baby, we play with the baby, we watch a little tv or do some talking, and then we pass out cold.

Do you have any little routines or traditions you love in your marriage? We have one I love; it’s called ‘Family Time’, and as soon as we’re all home, we all pile up onto the bed and just chill for a few minutes. It helps as parents unwind for five minutes after a long day before jumping into dinner, baths, and whatever else we need to get done. We get to tickle and cuddle and play with the little one, and my daughter (if she is with us and not at her dad’s house) will tell us all about her day. It’s a great time.

So in the spirit of happy traditions, the other night while my husband and I were talking, I asked him if we could start a new tradition. It went something like this:

Me: So, I was thinking….

Husband: Uh oh….

Me: No no, this is good! I’m not about to tell you that you did something wrong.

Husband: Okay…

Me: I was thinking we could start a new tradition. Let’s make sure we kiss at least once in the morning, and at least once at night. And I mean a NICE kiss. Not just a quick unthoughtful kiss.

Husband: Yeah, but we do that already.

Me: Do we?

Husband: Hmm.. Maybe you’re right…..

So with that, our new kissing routine was born. And I’ll tell you, it’s great! We spent some nice time last night kissing like teenagers before bed! And this morning, as he was leaving for work, we hugged, and then he remembered and gave me a big kiss.

This sounds silly and simplistic, but think about the implications if you DON’T kiss for long stretches. I think it makes it that much harder to be intimate in general, and especially if you’re stressed, have had an argument, or something of the like. I think NOT kissing allows the distance between a couple to grow, which is never a good thing.

Be honest; how often do you kiss your spouse/partner?

#26: Will work for guacamole

20 Oct

Those of you who are new or don’t happen to visit very often must be thinking, “This is boring. Fold the laundry, send him a card, draw him a picture, let him pick the Netflix this time…Where’s the excitement? Where’s the one key to making marriage awesome?”

Well, for starters, last night I started folding a huge pile of laundry, which I absolutely hate doing, and do you know what? My dear husband made me a huge bowl of guacamole (my fav!) not as a reward for doing laundry, but because he knows how much I hate doing it, saw me doing it, and wanted to do a little something nice for me! Now tell me that didn’t help our marriage on a small scale?!?

I didn’t, however, finish folding, because we got a bit busy watching the Yankees game last night. I have to finish that darn laundry tonight! I don’t want to hear, “You didn’t finish it? But I made you guacamole!!” (That would be him jesting, of course.)


Some helpful links if you’re new here:

 

What is this Marriage Project all about?

Archive of my more recent posts

My self assessments on how this blog is working out so far (Assessment #3 spells out why I chose to make this a little details blog as opposed to a big picture marriage blog.)

And of course, don’t forget to join me on Facebook by clicking the picture below!


Situation #5: Preparing for the husband’s return home, and perhaps annoying some feminists, too

8 Oct

My husband returns home tonight, thank goodness.

My initial thoughts on this whole situation? If my husband has to travel for work, there’s no way I can work full time and care for a ten month old and manage to feed us, clothe us, bathe us, and keep the house in order.

I’ve been reading a lot of great blogs lately written by other mothers, soon-to-be mothers, wives, and women in general ( Melbourne Mumma, Life in the Married Lane, Country Man’s WifeDalai Lina, In Like Flynn, As the Raven Flies, Mrs. Long, Conflicted Mean Girl, Miss Entregate, Give Thanks and Praise,  just to name a few), and they’ve all really got me thinking about what the heck my role is in my own life.

If my husband traveled frequently? There’s no doubt; I’d be a stay at home mother. A housewife. This is where I might annoy some feminists. I’m all for equal rights. Well guess what? Equal rights are on the books now. I can vote, I can buy property, I can have a job outside the home. I’m also entitled to equal pay, and I’m certain I’ve got that.

So the problem is, I know that I’m entitled to equality, and there are even laws on the books now to enable me to fight for these rights if they’re violated, but what if I don’t think all things are equal? What if by both parents working and trying to do everything, we’re spreading ourselves too thin? What if we’re both stressed about not spending enough time with work, both stressed about spending enough time with the kids, both stressed about getting things done around the house? How does that make sense? We’re supposed to BOTH run ourselves ragged because I want to feel equal?

Well, I do feel equal to my husband. Equally exhausted, I’m sure! If it were financially possible in our city (and it’s not – yet- I’ve run the numbers many many times), what would be so wrong with me staying home and taking care of the kids and maintaining the house? My husband wouldn’t have an extra 30 minute commute each way to work (on top of his already 45 minute + commute) to take our son to daycare, he could take the shorter route to work, I could spend some quality times with our son and older daughter, I could actually keep the house in decent order, get laundry and such done during the day, I could have dinner ready for my husband when he got home…I could go on and on. How is this bad?

I suppose if I had no choice and HAD to stay home, perhaps I would resent my husband? But I have a choice, so what would there be to resent? I think the only thing to resent would be the feminists telling me that I’m not fulfilling my own educational aspirations, my career aspirations, that I’m somehow being subservient to my husband. I think I’d resent being given that look of ‘Oh, you’re JUST a wife…JUST a stay at home mom…’ I think what I’d tell those feminists is that the world doesn’t revolve around me, and it doesn’t revolve around them, either. It’s not ALL about what I want, it’s also about what’s best for my family.

And with that, back to the point. I’m fortunate that my husband doesn’t travel often, so as of this evening when he returns, this whole supermom tryingtodoitall thing ends, and I get my amazing partner back.

Side note: Right after my husband left, our son got real sick, spent time in the doctor’s office, and we even have our own home nebulizer for the kiddo now. It’s been a rough few days with very little sleep. I am THRILLED to have my husband back, but I’m also proud of myself that I could handle all the situations that came up while he was gone. I have a tendency to lean on my husband perhaps more than I should. He deserves a medal!!!

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