Tag Archives: housekeeping

Like selling ice to an Eskimo.

15 Feb

I think sometimes men just like to be in charge. Which is a good thing, because when it comes to negotiating, I feel like a cork ready to pop.

If I haven’t told you already, I’m in business to business sales. And I’m pretty darn good at what I do. But put me at a car dealership, or have me negotiate my lease, and I totally lose my cool. I know what it is, too. I hate when I feel like people are trying to pull one over on me.

Considering I do more of a consultative sale and I’m all about helping my clients find solutions to their issues, I hate when someone tries to make a quick sale with me. I know what’s best for me, not you, smarmy salesperson.

So when we recently got to the top of a very long waiting list for a much larger apartment in our building, instead of being thrilled, I was tense. So many details…How much is our rent going up? Do we have to sign a new lease, or can we transfer our current lease? Can we negotiate the price at all?

Which is where my husband, Captain Awesome, comes in.

He’s in sales, too, but he LIKES the challenge of dealing with a smarmy self-serving salesperson. You could say I shirked all responsibility and threw this at my husband, but I actually think he LIKES to be in control and deal with this sort of thing.

What’s the point here? Well, I think it’s important to remember to let go, sometimes. I know husbands get a bad rap, especially in all the tv commercials that paint them as silly dolts. But keep in mind that men LIKE responsibility and to know they are needed and appreciated.

When we sign the dotted line this weekend, I’m going to be very thankful and appreciative that he was able to get this all handled.

Advertisements

Marriage Project Assessment #4 – Bake, Cook, Ego-Boost and Clean your way to a Happier Marriage

21 Oct

At least, that’s what I’ve been doing to work towards a better marriage. Not that there’s much wrong with it to begin with, but it seems to me that it’s easier to tend to your marriage when it’s not in trouble.

Well, all this cooking, cleaning, and loving up my husband seems to be making a HUGE difference (either that, or he’s found and reading my blog!) I started this blog to work on things I can control in my marriage (as opposed to using this as a place to vent about marriage and my husband). I can’t control my husband. I can only control me.

As I’ve mentioned several times before, the intent here is to better MYSELF in my marriage, but then unintended consequence here is that my husband has been just amazing. He’s been communicating a lot more than he EVER has. I mean, he talks a lot (we love to talk about anything and everything), but as far as communicating about feelings, emotions, or dealing with issues, that’s always been a little struggle for us.

So yesterday, when he IMed me about some errands we needed to get done, I was feeling particularly lovey, and I told him out of the blue, “You know, you’re a GREAT husband and father.” And he wrote back, “You know what, THANK YOU, that means so much to me.” Who knew?? I thought I’d get a standard “Thanks.”

Last night, I got home before he did and got to work reviewing my cleaning planner. I did some dishes, got dinner started, got coffee ready for the morning, and finished folding the laundry. I had quite a bit done before he even got home. We watched the rest of the Yankees game together (Yeah!!! They Won !!!!!!.) Then we went to bed super-early to watch the Giants against the Phillies. At 9pm. We just kind of cuddled, and it was incredible. Then out of nowhere, he tells me how happy he is in general, how glad he is that I’m his wife, and how glad he is that I’m the mother of his child. He also went on to tell me that he’s made an effort to try very hard lately – my hangups are staying clean and orderly and keeping my head on straight, his is that he tends to get a little angry and let things bother him. He told me that he’s trying hard to not place blame every time something small goes wrong, and he apologized for sometimes placing that extra blame on me when it’s not warranted.

Wow!

Am I making a difference here?

Furthermore, our marriage IS good already. Do you think for people who are having marriage troubles could follow the same steps that I do and receive the same outcome, even if they think their spouse is at fault? If they work on the ‘small things’ like I am, could their spouses outlook improve as well as an unintended consequence?

 


Some useful links:

 

Archive of my marriage projects

My marriage project assessments so far

What is this marriage project all about?

And of course, follow me on Facebook by clicking the picture below!

#26: Will work for guacamole

20 Oct

Those of you who are new or don’t happen to visit very often must be thinking, “This is boring. Fold the laundry, send him a card, draw him a picture, let him pick the Netflix this time…Where’s the excitement? Where’s the one key to making marriage awesome?”

Well, for starters, last night I started folding a huge pile of laundry, which I absolutely hate doing, and do you know what? My dear husband made me a huge bowl of guacamole (my fav!) not as a reward for doing laundry, but because he knows how much I hate doing it, saw me doing it, and wanted to do a little something nice for me! Now tell me that didn’t help our marriage on a small scale?!?

I didn’t, however, finish folding, because we got a bit busy watching the Yankees game last night. I have to finish that darn laundry tonight! I don’t want to hear, “You didn’t finish it? But I made you guacamole!!” (That would be him jesting, of course.)


Some helpful links if you’re new here:

 

What is this Marriage Project all about?

Archive of my more recent posts

My self assessments on how this blog is working out so far (Assessment #3 spells out why I chose to make this a little details blog as opposed to a big picture marriage blog.)

And of course, don’t forget to join me on Facebook by clicking the picture below!


#21 – Put on my big girl pants and deal with things

29 Sep

Those ‘things’ I need to deal with? Me. The apartment.

Me

After the crazy night which was last night, plus my recent bout of insomnia over the past week, and an exhausting work trip earlier this week, I kind of felt like I was losing my cool and, well, I wasn’t feeling exactly composed. Today, I used a sick day from work to get some sleep and recharge. I slept until 10am and it felt fantastic.

The apartment

Our house is one big ole’ mess. It’s not particularly DIRTY, but it’s cluttered. Too cluttered. This is essentially my doing; I keep too much stuff. Today? My mission is to literally go through our stuff and throw away the CRAP and get this place organized. It’s a little daunting, but heck, we’re in the city, we only have 1,000 square feet. I think I can do this!

So what does this do for my husband and/or our marriage?

  • A crazy sleep-deprived me is not very much fun to be around. I want to get my act together so I can be a bit, well, ‘nicer’ to my husband.
  • My crazy clutteredness drives my poor husband up the wall. To read more about it, check out my post on the Pile of Doom.
  • Me being home from work today means I can get dinner started before he gets home. Let’s hope that goes swimmingly. I’ve done it before, I can do it again.

Wish me luck. I have about 7 hours to get the job done before he gets home.

#20: Put on a skimpy maid outfit and clean the house

23 Sep

Put on a skimpy maid outfit and clean the house.

Last night my husband and I got into a mini-argument over finances (namely how we were going to allocate certain funds to pay certain things.) Anyway, when he gets a little frustrated with me, it tends to all hang loose, and he got on my case about doing more chores around the house.

Now, this is confusing to me, because when things are happy, he always tells me he’s happy and thanks me for sharing duties with him.

Well, we made up last night, no problem, and he even apologized for being cranky. I apologized for just not letting it go and going round in circles.

But I still had a nagging feeling – Am I not doing enough around the house lately? Even though he’s happy now and wouldn’t say the same thing today, is there some truth to it?

Well let’s dig deeper:

  • I have a habit of doing many many loads of laundry at once, but then not folding them. They often stay in a basket, and then we can’t remember if the basket is clean or dirty, and I wash them again!
  • I could be (much) better about the kitty litter.
  • I could unpack our clothes from vacation.
  • I could tidy up my part of the bedroom closet a bit.

Okay, so there’s my answer. There IS stuff I can be doing.

So tonight, I’m going to leave work at 4:30, but instead of heading out to meet him after work and get the kiddo, I’ll take the train home and get started on some of these chores. And perhaps dinner.

Maybe he’ll notice, maybe he won’t, but hopefully next time we have an argument about something not related, he won’t feel the need to bring up me being messy!

Photobucket

(The Marriage Project so far)

%d bloggers like this: